I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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