I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
