just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
