Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
