I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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