And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
