can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
