I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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