Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
