dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
