oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
