Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
