I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
