Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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