So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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