Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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