wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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