I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
