one might say we're banned from that church
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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