sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
