So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Randomize
