It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
