guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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