Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
