Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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