I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
