everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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