For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize