I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
