i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
