The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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