His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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