if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
