3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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