So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My life is pants optional.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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