Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
