We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
