trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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