I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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