True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
