Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
