Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
