I'm really into asian looking animals
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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