ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
