It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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