Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
