Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
