We're facebook friends in real life
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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