The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
