it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
