i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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