You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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