I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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