you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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