We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize