haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
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Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize