I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We left an ass print on the piano.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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