I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
