butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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