I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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