This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
